Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there. ”Why?” he asks.
St. Paul replies, ”When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.” The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.
St. Paul replies, ”When you were nine you killed a […]
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver’s side. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled […]
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and […]
80,000 blondes are gathered for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus […]
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.” I thought… Well, […]
The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile!
The American team was discouraged by the loss. The morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the […]
On a train from London to Manchester, an American was telling off the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.
“You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. Look at me… I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Australian blood, and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that?”
The […]
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?”, he asks the shop assistant.
In a manner she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie […]
5 Best things to say when you are caught sleeping at your desk
5. “They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.”
4. “This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to.”
3. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got […]
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, “Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The man says back to the blind man, “Look buddy, I’m blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left […]