The perfect day according to: HER 8:45 wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 Pounds lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at Outdoor Cafe’ 1:45 Shopping 2:30 Run into Boyfriend’s/Husband’s ex – notice she’s gained 30 lbs. 3:00 Manicure, Facial, Massage, Nap. 7:30 Candlelight dinner for [...]

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Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She’d hardly [...]

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A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Oh, no laundry,” the boy said, “I’m going to [...]

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A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs. She went downstairs and looked all around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the basement [...]

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A male and female driver are involved in a horrific collision. As they crawl from the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and beautiful. She turns to him and gushes breathily: “We shouldn’t have survived that. Maybe it’s a sign from God that we’re meant to be together!” The man stammers back, “Oh [...]

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A young man was wandering lost in a forest when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an old Chinese man with a long gray beard. “I’m lost,” said the man. “Can you put me up for the night?” “Certainly,” the Chinese man said. “But on on [...]

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A doctor started having an affair with his nurse. A short while later, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. “But how will I let you know the baby [...]

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A German research published in New England Journal of Medicine and Weekly World News said that men staring at women’s breasts in fact prolong their lives with years. “Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,” said author [...]

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Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. [...]

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A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed. For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him that’s bad. Was he generous? give money to the poor? [...]

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